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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초!! 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
같은주제로 내 아이에게 직접 써보게 하시는 것도 Writing 실력을 Up시키는 좋은 방법입니다
[작문제목]
Can you name any famous queens in history?
[학생작문]
l know Cleopatra VII. Cleopatra VII 1. is 2. very famous 3. Egypt queen in 4. history
Cleopatra VII 5. is known for her great beauty. Many books 6. or movies
have been made to praise her and her beauty. According to
historians, she attracted Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, two
powerful Roman leaders. Cleopatra VII even used her looks to make her
country strong.
However, nobody 7. konws whether she was that beautiful as we want to
believe. As evidence, there are two coins that show how Cleopatra VII
8. to Mark Antony. In 9. another, she has a thick 10. neck, and looks like a
11. bird.Whether Cleopatra VII was beautiful or ugly, 12. manypeople say that she was an intelligent and 13. importantqueen of Egypt.
[첨삭내용]
| Spelling/철자 7. konws : knows 12. manypeople : many people 13. importantqueen : important queen | ||
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 2. very : a very | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 6. or : and | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 1. is : was 5. is : was | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 4. history : history. 10. neck, : neck 11. bird.Whether : bird. Whether | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 8. to Mark : looked and how she charmed Mark (?) 9. another : another coin | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 3. Egypt : Egyptian |
[강사 Comments]
I appreciate your effort to talk about one of the famous queens in history. I can say that you are good based on your ideas, but be more careful with your spelling. It will also be better if you will organize your sentences into an essay format and if you will expand your ideas when you're writing. Your sentences are easy to understand and follow, so keep up the good work. Just try to practice your writing skills more so that you can make a more interesting article next time. Nevertheless, you have made a good article, so keep on writing.
Have a great day, Jimmy! Enjoy and God bless!
[초등첨삭 34탄] 내 아이 영어 writing 실력은?
[여름방학계획] 가을이의 여름방학 레벨업!!! 계획표
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