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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초!! 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
같은주제로 내 아이에게 직접 써보게 하시는 것도 Writing 실력을 Up시키는 좋은 방법입니다
[작문제목]
What is your favorite kind of dog? Why?
[학생작문]
My favorite 1. dog 2. is 3. husky and 4. Maltese,poodle.
First, 5. why I Iike husky.
6. Husky no grow finish, very cute. 7. And grow finish look like very strong and 8. loyal with me(I'm master)
9. One more, I and my husky 10. go the 11. north pole, 12. husky and 13. me 14. ride 15. dogsled. I think 16. its very *****. 17. But, I don't like 18. husky 19. have blue eyes.
20. Second,why I like 21. Maltese.
22. Because 23. Maltese 24. just very cute. 25. And it is easy 26. take care of. It 27. is give little food and 28. did no many exercise. 29. So me to comfortable.
Finally, 30. why I like 31. poodle.
32. Poodle hair very *****. 33. Poodle hair is permanent. 34. So see poodle, I think 35. my mom. 36. So I like poodle.
[첨삭내용]
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 15. dogsled : a dogsled 18. husky : a husky 21. Maltese : the maltese Note: Use a small letter. 22. Because : A 31. poodle : the poodle | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 19. have : with 35. my : of my | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 4. Maltese,poodle : maltese and poodle Note: Use a small letter. 17. But : However 25. And it : It | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 11. north pole, : North Pole. Note: Change the punctuation. 23. Maltese : maltese | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 2. is : are 14. ride : will ride 26. take : to take | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 3. husky and : husky, | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 5. why I Iike : I will talk about why I like the 6. Husky no grow finish, : A husky is 8. loyal with me(I'm master) : loyal. 9. One more, I : I 10. go : will go to 12. husky : My husky 20. Second,why : Now I will talk about why 29. So me to comfortable : To me it's convenient to raise 30. why : I will talk about why 32. Poodle hair : The poodle's hair is 34. So see : When I see a poodle 36. So I like : This is why I like the | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 1. dog : dogs 7. And grow finish look like : When it grow up it is 13. me : I 16. its very ***** : it will be so much fun 24. just : is 27. is give : needs 28. did no many : does not need a lot of 33. Poodle : It's |
[강사 Comments]
You were able to describe the animals clearly enough. The word choices were good but the article jumped from one subject to another too quickly. To organize the text, write the sentences in paragraphs. Show the introduction, body, and conclusion clearly. Describe each animal in further detail. You may also pick just one animal, one that you like the most, and then give information about it. Having such organization will allow you to discuss a topic with sentences that connect better with each other.
Keep on writing, Hae In. Have a great day!
유석엄마 
[초등첨삭 35탄] 내 아이 영어 writing 실력은?
[여름방학계획] 가을이의 여름방학 레벨업!!! 계획표
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왕파파님, 정보 감사합니다. 매번 올리시는데, 눈팅만 하다 인사드리네요. 요즘 초등 4년인 저희 아들이 방학 숙제로 영어 일기를 쓰고 있는데, 첨삭에 도움 되겠네요. 지금은 자신감을 가지라고 칭찬만 하고 있습니다. 글 쓴 아이가 몇 학년인지 알면 더욱 도움되겠습니다.