Ãßõ 
[¾¦¾¦ writing Èıâ]

±Û¾´ÀÌ ³ªºñ²Þ

µî·ÏÀÏ 2010-12-17 16:57

Á¶È¸¼ö 2,545

´ñ±Û 7

http://www.suksuk.co.kr/momboard/BEC_001/50349

īī¿ÀÅå īī¿À½ºÅ丮 ºí·Î±× ³×À̹ö¹êµå ÆäÀ̽ººÏ Æ®À§ÅÍ
¾¦¾¦´åÄÄ - ÆÄÀÏ ´Ù¿î·Îµå

ÆÄÀÏÀ» ´Ù¿î·Îµå ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

´ñ±Û ³²±â±â

¶³¸®´Â ¸¶À½À¸·Î ¾¦¾¦ Writing ¹«·áüÇè À̺¥Æ®¿¡ ÀÀ¸ðÇÏ¿´°í,

´ç÷ È®ÀÎÀ» ÇÏ°í ¸Å¿ì ±â»¼½À´Ï´Ù¸¸,

¸·»ó µþ¾ÆÀÌ¿Í writingÀÇ ±æÀ» °¡¾ß ÇÑ´Ù »ý°¢ÇÏ´Ï,

¸¶À½ÀÌ °¡º±Áö¸¸Àº ¾Ê¾Ò½À´Ï´Ù.

Áýµè Ã¥ ½Ã°£ Á¶±Ý ´Ã¸®´Â °Í, Àбâ Á¶±Ý ´õ °¡´Â °Í, 

»õ·Î¿î ¸Åü Çϳª ´õ ³Ö´Â °Í

µîµîÀÌ ¾ó¸¶³ª ½±Áö ¾ÊÀº ÀÏÀÎÁö, °Ô´Ù°¡ »õ·Î¿î ¿µ¿ª¿¡ ¹ßÀ» µéÀÌ·Á ÇÏ´Ï,

Áñ°Å¿î ¿µ¾î"ÀÇ ±æ¿¡ ¹æÇذ¡ µÇÁö´Â ¾ÊÀ»±î,

ÇнÀ"¸»°í ȯ°æÀ» ÅëÇÑ ½Àµæ"Àº ¾îµð±îÁö,¾ðÁ¦±îÁö °¡´ÉÇÒ±î.

µîµî ¿©·¯ °í¹ÎµéÀÌ ½ñ¾ÆÁ³½À´Ï´Ù.

 

 

 

¾¦¾¦writingÀÇ °æ¿ì

non-essay¿Í essay·Î ³ª´µ¸ç,

non-essayÀÇ °æ¿ì ¿ø¾î¹Î ÷»èÀ¸·Î ÈçÈ÷µé »ó»óÇϴ ÷»èÁöµµ°¡ µÇ´Â °ÍÀ¸·Î ¿¹»óµÇ¸ç

(¾ÆÁ÷ üÇèÇØº¸Áö ¸øÇß½À´Ï´Ù.)

essayÀÌÀÇ °æ¿ì ÁÖ¾îÁø ÁÖÁ¦¿¡ ¸Â´Â ±ÛÀ» Á¦ÃâÇϸé system¿¡ ÀÇÇØ °úÇÐÀûÀ¸·Î Æò°¡°¡ µÇ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

(ÀÚ¼¼ÇÑ »çÇ×Àº ¾¦¾¦ writing µé¾î°¡¼Å¼­ º¸½Ã¸é ÁÁ°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.^^)

 

 

¿ì¼± Çѹø ½áº¸ÀÚ~

°¡º±°Ô ½ÃÀÛÇß½À´Ï´Ù.

essay¿¡ ³ª¿Â ÁÖÁ¦µé Áß¿¡¼­ Çϳª °ñ¶ó¼­ ÆíÇÏ°Ô ¾²¼¼¿ä~

µþ¾ÆÀÌ °í¸¿°Ôµµ ÀüÇô^ °ÅºÎÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ¸½Ã°í, ½Å³ª°Ô^ ¾²´õ±º¿ä.

²Ï ½Å³ª°Ô ¾´ °Å °°¾ÒÀ¸³ª, ´Ü¾î¼ö 180¿¡ ¹ÌÄ¡Áö ¸øÇÏ¿© ÀÔ·ÂÀÌ Á¦ÃâÀÌ ¾È µÇ´õ±º¿ä.

´Ù½Ã Á» ±æ°Ô ½áºÁ¶ó~

 

ÀúÈñÁýÀÇ °æ¿ì writingÀº °ÅÀÇ Àü¹«,

(ÃÖ±Ù¿¡ ÁøÇà±â ¿Ã¸°ÀûÀÌ ÀÖ±ä Çѵ¥, Âü°í·Î ÃÊ3, ¾ö¸¶Ç¥ 3³â¿¡ °ÅÀÇ µè±â¸¸À¸·Î ÁøÇàÇß½À´Ï´Ù.^)

È¥ÀÚ À̾߱⸦ ¸¸µç´Ù°í, Ã¥À» ¸¸µç´Ù°í ¿µ¾î·Î ¾²¸ç ³î±âµµ ÇßÁö¸¸,

ÀüÇô ¾ö¸¶ÀÇ ¼ÕÀ» °ÅÄ£ ÀûÀº ¾ø¾ú°í, ¾ö¸¶°¡ ¹¹ ½áºÁ¶ó~ ¶ó°í ÇÑ °ÍÀº óÀ½ ÀÖ´Â ÀÏÀ̾ú½À´Ï´Ù.

´ç¿¬ÇÑ °á°úÀÌÁö¸¸, ¾ÆÁÖ ½¬¿î ½ºÆç¸µ ¾û¸Á (ÀÌ°Ç ±×´ë·Î ŸÀÌÇÎ Çϱ⠹½Çؼ­ Áý¿¡¼­ 1Â÷ °Ë¿­Çß½À´Ï´Ù.^) ¹®¹ýµµ ¾û¸Á.. ÇÏÁö¸¸ ¾²´Â °Í¿¡ °ÅºÎ°¨Àº ¾ø´Ù´Â °Í¿¡ Å« À§·Î»ïÀ¸¸ç ÀßÇß´Ù°í ĪÂùµå¸®°í^

°Ü¿ì Á¦Ãâ, ¸çÄ¥¸¸¿¡ °á°ú È®ÀÎ

 

Á¡¼öÈ­µÈ °á°ú´Â 60/100^

(¾Æ·¡Ç¥´Â ±¸Ã¼ÀûÀÎ ºÎ¹®º° Æò°¡-Ȥ½Ã ±Ã±ÝÇØÇϽDZîºÁ º¹»çÇØ¼­ µ¥·Á¿Ô½À´Ï´Ù.^)

Grammar2 errors2 Run-on Sentences
Usage3 errors1 Wrong Article
2 Missing or Extra Article
Mechanics0 errors
Style39 comments38 Repetition of Words
1 Too Many Long Sentences

 

essay ºÎ¹®À̱⠶§¹®ÀÎÁö °á°úÈ®ÀÎÀ» º¸¸é¼­ °ÇÁ¶ÇÔÀÌ ´À²¸Áö´õ±º¿ä.

±×¸®°í ¾î¶² ºÎºÐÀÌ Àß ¸ø µÇ¾ú´ÂÁö´Â ÀÚ¼¼È÷ º¼ ¼ö ¾ø¾ú´ø Á¡ÀÌ ¾Æ½¬¿ü½À´Ï´Ù¸¸,

¾¦¾¦ writing´öºÐ¿¡ writng¿¡ ´ëÇÑ °í¹ÎÀ» Á» ´õ ÁøÁöÇÏ°Ô ÇØ º¼ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÁÁÀº ±âȸ°¡ µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù.

ÃÖ±Ù kate´ÔÀÌ ¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠÅ×¼Ö Èı⿡¼­Ã³·³ input°ú outputÀ» ¾î¶»°Ô ²ø¾î°¡¾ß ÇÏ´ÂÁö¿¡ ´ëÇØ¼­µµ Á» ´õ °í¹ÎÇÏ°Ô µÇ¾ú½À´Ï´Ù.

 

¾ÕÀ¸·Î ÁøÇà¹æÇâÀº È«¹Ú»ç´Ô µû¶óÀïÀÌ·Î ±×·¡¸Ó Å¥ Á¶±Ý¾¿ ÇØº¼¶ó°í ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

°£´ÜÇÑ ÇнÀ¼­, ÄÚ½ººÏ¿¡ ´ëÇØ Àúµµ ¸ð¸£°Ô °®°í ÀÖ´ø °ÅºÎ°¨µµ Á¶±Ý ¹þ°í, õõÈ÷ ´ÙÁö±â ÇØºÁ¾ß°Ú½À´Ï´Ù. Áñ°Å¿î ¿µ¾îÀÇ ±æ, ÂüÀ¸·Î ¸Ö°íµµ ÇèÇÏ´Ù´Â »ý°¢ ´Ù½Ã Çѹø ÇØ º¾´Ï´Ù. 

°¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù. 

 

 

 

 

--------------------- ¸¶Áö¸·À¸·Î ÀúÈñ µþÀÌ ½è´ø ±Û ¿Ã·Áº¾´Ï´Ù.

¿¡¼¼ÀÌ ÇÏ¸é ´ë´ÜÇØº¸ÀÏ ¼öµµ Àִµ¥, ¹¹ ±×·¸Áö´Â ¾Ê´Ù´Â °Í º¸¿©µå¸®±â À§Çؼ­ ¿Ã¸³´Ï´Ù.^

 

Essay : Choose a pet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

´Ü¾î ¼ö [196°³]

   Many people have a pet such as a dog, a cat and a bird. But if I could have a pet, I would have a small quiet parrot and I have three reasons to have a parrot
   The first reason is that parrot follow your word and they can talk English if I teach them. In my house my father and mother can talk English but they would not talk very many time, so I don't have an English friend. But if a parrot come to my room, I could have an English friend and I could talk and talk.
   The second reason is because a parrot is very very colorful and I like thing that is colorful, like a rainbow and a parrot is just like a rainbow and I could enjoy the parrot for very long time and think it is a rainbow
   The last reason is a parrot is quiet when is sleepy and a dog or a cat is very noisy but a parrot will be quiet and I want peace and a good quiet room. Some parrot is very noisy but I will buy a quiet parrot for peace.
Thank you.

¸¶ÀÌ ÆäÀÌÁö > ½ºÅ©·¦ºÏ¿¡¼­ È®ÀÎÇÏ½Ç ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. ¼ÒÁßÇÑ ±Û¿¡ °¨»ç ´ñ±Û ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.

2
  Ãßõ      
·Î±×ÀÎ ÈÄ µ¡±ÛÀ» ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä
ºêÁÕ 2010-12-17 18:25 

¸çÄ¥ Àü ÀúÈñ ¾ÆÀÌ ¾²±âµµ ¿Ã·È¾ú´Âµ¥..

±×°Ô 130´Ü¾î ÀÌ»óÀ̾ú´Âµ¥.. ŸÀÚ·ÎÄ¡¸é ¾ó¸¶ ¾ÈµÇµµ ±×°Å ä¿ì´Â °Íµµ ½±Áö ¾Ê´õ±º¿ä.

 

ÀúÈñ ¾ÆÀ̵µ °³¸¦ Ű¿ì°í ½Í¾îÇϴµ¥..

ÇÁ¸®½ººñ ´øÁö±â ³îÀÌ ÇÏ°í ½Í´Ù°í ÇÏ´õ±º¿ä..

ÀÏ´Ü ºòµ¶ÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÑ °ÅÁÒ...^^

 

¾ÆÀ̵éÀÌ ±Ù°Å¸¦ µé¾î¼­ ¾²¶ó°í Çϸé..

±×·¡µµ ³í¸®ÀûÀ¸·Î ¾²·Á°í ³ë·ÂÇÏ´Â °Å °°¾Æ¿ä.

±×·¯¸é¼­ ¾²±âµµ ¹ßÀüÇÏ´Â °Í °°¾Æ¿ä.

 

Èıâ Àß º¸¾Ò±¸¿ä.

¿¡¼¼À̵µ ¾ÆÁÖ Àß ½è³×¿ä..

 

¾ÆÀÌ ÀÛǰµµ ÇÔ²² ¿Ã·ÁÁּż­ ´õ °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

±×°Ô Âü ¿Ã¸®±â°¡ ¾¦½º·´´õ¶ó±¸¿ä..

³ªºñ²Þ 2010-12-18 15:14:25
¸Â¾Æ¿ä. ±Û ¿Ã¸®´Â °Å ¾¦½º·¯¿ü¾î¿ä.
±×·¡µµ Èıâ"¸¦ ¿Ã·Á¾ß ÇÏ´Ï, ³Ê¹« ¹Ô¹ÔÇÏÁö ¾Ê°Ô,
±×¸®°í Àúµµ ³ÑÀÇ Áý ¾Æ±×µé ¾²´Â°Å ±Ã±ÝÇØÇϵí
´Ù¸¥ ºÐµéµµ ±Ã±ÝÇØÇÏ½Ç °Í °°¾Æ ¿Ã·ÁºÃ¾î¿ä.

ÇÁ¸®½ººñ ³îÀÌ^ ¤¾¤¾ (¿ì¸®´Â ¸ô¶ú´ø ³îÀ̵éÀ» ¾ÆÀ̵éÀÌ ¿µ¾îÃ¥À» ÅëÇØ ¾Ë°Ô µÇ°ï ÇÏÁö¿ä.^)

´ä±Û °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù.
´Ã ÁÁÀº ±Ûµµ °¨»çÇϱ¸¿ä~~
ºÀºÀ 2010-12-17 18:05 

½Ç·ÂÀÌ ÁÁ³×¿ä ^^

Èıâ Àß º¸°í °©´Ï´Ù~^^

÷»è °á°ú ¸®Æ÷Æ®¿¡¼­, ¸Ç ÇÏ´Ü¿¡ Next ¹öư ´©¸£½Ã¸é,

ÀÚ¼¼ÇÑ Ã·»èÀÌ ³ª¿À´øµ¥, ±× ºÎºÐµµ º¸¼Ì´ÂÁö¿ä~^^

³ªºñ²Þ 2010-12-18 15:12:19
¾Ñ, next°¡ ÀÖ¾ú±º¿ä.
¼¼»ó¿¡ Á¦´ë·Î ¾ËÁöµµ ¸øÇϰí Èı⸦ ¿Ã¸®´Ù´Ï, ¹Î¸ÁÇÏ°Ô µÇ¾ú³×¿ä.^^
°¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù. ºÀºÀ´Ô,
ÀÚ¼¼ÇÑ Æò°¡ ÇÁ¸°Æ® ÇØ¼­ Â÷±ÙÈ÷ ÀÐ¾î ºÁ¾ß°Ú³×¿ä.^^
ºÀºÀ 2010-12-20 09:35:16
Ȥ½Ã³ª, ¾È º¸½Å °Å °°¾Æ¼­ ¸»¾¸µå·È¾î¿ä^^
Á¦°¡ ¿ÀÁö¶ýÀΰ¡ »ý°¢Çß¾ú´Âµ¥;; º¸½Ã°Ô µÇ¾ú´Ù´Ï Á¤¸» ´ÙÇàÀÌ¿¡¿ä ^^
°³±¸ÀïÀ̸¾ 2010-12-17 17:44 

¤¾¤¾ ÀúÈñ ½Å¶ûµµ ¾Þ¹«»õ Ű¿ì°í ½Í¾îÇϴµ¥¿ä.. ^^

¿¹Àü¿¡ ½Ì°¡Æú ¿©Çà °¬À»¶§ ¸»ÇÏ´Â ¾Þ¹«»õ¸¦ º» ÀûÀÌ ÀÖ¾î¿ä.

Hello~ ÇØ¼­ ½Å±âÇØ¼­ ÀÚ²Ù ¸» ºÙ¿´´ø ±â¾ïÀÌ ³³´Ï´Ù.

 

±×µ¿¾È writing °æÇèÀÌ ¾ø¾ú´Ù°í °â¼ÕÇÏ°Ô ¸»¾¸ÇϽÃÁö¸¸,

µû´ÔÀÌ ³ª¸§´ë·Î ³í¸®ÀûÀ¸·Î ±ÛÀ» Àß Ç®¾îÁÖ¾ú³×¿ä.

¾Æ¸¶ ÇÑ±Û ±Û¾²±âµµ ±âº»ÀÌ Àß ÀâÇôÀִµí ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

 

ù ¿¡¼¼ÀÌÀε¥ ÀÌ Á¤µµ¸é ¾ÕÀ¸·Î ¹ßÀü °¡´É¼ºÀÌ ´õ ¸¹À¸½Ç°Ì´Ï´Ù.

µû´Ô¿¡°Ô Àß Çß´Ù°í À̸ðµéÀÌ ¹Ú¼öÃÄÁØ´Ù°í ²À ÀüÇØÁÖ¼¼¿ä~

±ÍÇÑ °æÇè ³ª´²Áּż­ °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

 

³ªºñ²Þ 2010-12-18 15:07:13
µû¶æÇÑ °Ý·Á °¨»çÇÕ´Ï´Ù. °³±¸ÀïÀ̸¾´Ô,
À̸ðµéÀÌ ¹Ú¼öÃÄÁشٴÏ^ Àúµµ ¸· ±â¿îÀÌ ³ª´Â °Å °°¾Æ¿ä.

¾ÕÀ¸·Î writingÀÇ ±æÀ» °¡¾ß ÇÑ´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÏ´Ï,
Á¶±Ý °©°©Çϱ⵵ ÇÏÁö¸¸,
Á¶±Ý¾¿ Á¶±Ý¾¿ °¡ºÁ¾ß°ÚÁö¿ä..^^

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸ Ãßõ
33885

 ¹ÌÄ£ Èçµé¸²!!

[41]
¸²½º¸¶¹Ì.. 2010/12/17 3,706 11
33884

 Á¦ ¿µ¾î½Ç·ÂÀÌ ³Ñ ÇüÆí¾ø³ªºÁ¿ä

[2]
tls0627 2010/12/17 1,423 0
33883

 °Ü¿ï¹æÇÐ °èȹ...°èȹÀº °èȹÀÎ »Ó..^^

[32]
ºêÁÕ 2010/12/17 4,587 11
33882

 [¾¦¾¦ writing Èıâ]

[7]
³ªºñ²Þ 2010/12/17 2,545 2
33881

 ºý¼¾ ¿µ¾îÇпø ¾ÆÀ̰¡ ½ºÆ®·¹½º·Î....µµ¿ò¿äû!!!

[7]
¸¶¸£°¡¸®.. 2010/12/17 1,768 2
33879

 °øºÎÇϴ¾ö¸¶ ....ÆÄ´Ð½º±³À°ÀÚ·á ¿øÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

[1]
¸Ó¸®¾ÆÇÂ.. 2010/12/17 969 0
33878

 [Arthur Club]#28 Arthur and the 1,001 Dads

[29]
¿¤¶ó 2010/12/17 536 5
33877

 ¾ö¸¶Ç¥¸¦ ½ÃÀÛÇÏ·Á´Â ¸¾ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

[3]
Çູ¸¾00.. 2010/12/17 395 1
33876

 [¼³¹®Á¶»ç]2010' ¾¦¾¦¸¾´ÔµéÀÇ Best Choice

¿î¿µÀÚ 2010/12/17 1,570 1
33875

 ·ÎÁ¦Å¸½ºÅæ »ì±î¸»±î °í¹ÎÁßÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

[12]
¿ä¿ä·Î 2010/12/17 2,519 6
33874

 ¾ËÂ¥¹è±â °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ ¾îµð ÀÖ³ª¿ä?

[1]
ÇÁ¶ó 2010/12/17 420 0
33873

 ¾îÁö·¯¿î¸¶À½

[3]
whdtkrhk.. 2010/12/17 620 0
33872

 ¸®´õ½º100- ÀϳâÁøÇà±â ¿­³×¹øÂ°

[509]
ÇÏÀ̵ð¸¾.. 2010/12/17 6,174 16
33871

 ºÐ±³·Î ¾ÆÀ̺¸³»±â

[2]
mjmom 2010/12/16 526 1
33870

 ÃÊ6 °Ü¿ï¹æÇÐ ¹®¹ý°øºÎ ÇÔ²²ÇØ¿ä

[4]
È«¹Ú»ù 2010/12/16 2,098 1
33869

 Çб³»ýȰ µðºêµð

[6]
ssÀ±¸¾ 2010/12/16 527 0
33868

 [Arthur Club]#27 Arthur and the Comet Crisis

[22]
¿¤¶ó 2010/12/16 517 4
33867

 ¸®´õ½º 100 - Àϳâ ÁøÇà±â ¿­¼¼¹øÂ°³¯

[296]
Á¾ÈÆÀ¯¸².. 2010/12/16 5,417 15
33866

 '¿Â¶óÀÎ'À» ÀÌ¿ëÇÑ ¿µ¾î ÇнÀ »ùÇÃ~ ^^

[75]
¸µ¸µ 2010/12/16 7,851 50
33865

 Áß±¹¾î. ÀϺ»¾î º´Çà Àß Çϰí ÀÖ´ÂÁö °í¹ÎÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

[7]
ÂɳªÂɸ®.. 2010/12/16 1,155 4