쑥쑥몰
>
수지엄마님의 글입니다.
> 적당한 칭찬이 아이에게 도움이 된다란 내용의 글이랍니다.
> 좀 길긴 하지만 찬찬히 읽어보심 도움이 되지 않을까 싶어요.
>
> 미국사람들은 아이들의 작은 일에도 칭찬을 과하게 하는편인것 같았거든요. 전 그게 그저 좋게만 보였었는데
> 한 닥터의 "아이들에게 많은 칭찬을 해주면 칭찬의 값어치가 떨어지고 칭찬에 의존하게 된다"는 말은 정말 그럴수 있겠다 싶네요.
> 저두 가능하면 아이에게 별거 아닌거에도 잘했다고 박수 쳐주고,
> 칭찬을 열심히 해주려 하는 편인데 조금만 자제를 해야겠어요.
> 칭찬의 방법도 조금 달리 해야하겠구요.
> 글안에 좋은 예들이 많이 있네요.
>
> 칭찬이 전염성이 강하단 얘기도 있는데요 정말로 그런것 같아요.
> 아이가 학교 다니기 시작하면 특히 그 peer집단의 영향을 많이 받을텐데 학교 선생님들이 어떻게 아이들을 대하고, 가르치느냐는 참 중요할것 같아요.
>
> 꼭 칭찬할 일이 생기면 겉도는 말뿐인 칭찬이 아닌 구체적으로 질문하고 대화하며 아이에게 동기를 유발 할 수 있게끔 하는게 좋다고 하네요.
> 저두 사전 뒤적이며 읽었거든요. 영어공부도 하실겸 읽어보시길 바랍니다.
>
> New Advice for Parents: Saying `That's Great!' May Not Be
> By PAM BELLUCK
>
>
> ONROE, Iowa — Five-year-old Cristina bounced up to her preschool teacher in this quiet Iowa farm town, waved her crayon drawing dotted with brightly colored stickers and asked, "What do you think of my picture?"
>
> The teacher, Sharon Doolittle, looked enthusiastically, but was careful not to offer praise.
>
> Instead, she said: "I see you drew a black wagon. What are you going to put in that black wagon?"
>
> In a classroom in Moorpark, Calif., when the preschoolers successfully clean up the play kitchen, Jennifer Parker does not tell them, "good job," she said. "I say, `I notice you put all of the dishes and all of the food back where it belongs. Next time you want to play with those, you'll be able to find them.' "
>
> And in Manhattan, Fran Spector, a first-grade teacher at the Ethical Culture School, took a similar tack on a bus trip to the Central Park conservatory garden. After a couple of her students offered their seats to people who were standing, Ms. Spector said, "I did not say `That was great.' I said, `Did you notice how appreciative the people were?' "
>
> For years, parents and teachers got the message that children should be praised at almost any opportunity, that saying "good job" for everything from sharing snacks to sliding down a slide raises self-esteem. Some guides said praise encouraged desirable behavior, like buckling a seat belt or cleaning one's room. Some schools displayed posters saying "Praise every child every day."
>
> But in a sea change from the gestalt of recent decades, many educators and child psychologists are concluding that less praise is often better and frequent praise for unexceptional actions can actually have a negative impact on children.
>
> "Praising every time lowers a child's motivation," said Dr. Ron Taffel, a Manhattan psychologist and author of "Nurturing Good Children Now." "It cheapens the praise, and children become dependent on praise."
>
> For example, Dr. Taffel said, he sees children sledding in Central Park with parents "screaming at the top of their lungs: `great job, phenomenal sledding, that was the best I've ever seen.' The children were being praised for responding to the laws of gravity."
>
> Some child-rearing experts say a steady stream of praise can turn children into praise addicts who lack confidence because they dismiss the value of the compliments. They say praise intended to reinforce good behavior can make children feel manipulated and less likely to keep up good habits in the long run. And they say sometimes children praised for a creative or academic task become less motivated to pursue it, because they feel pressure or are afraid they will not live up to expectations.
>
> "In the effort to help children feel good about themselves, parents will praise more than is appropriate," said Fretta Reitzes, director of the Goldman Center for Youth and Family at the 92nd Street Y.M.-Y.W.H.A., who thinks praise caught on partly because working mothers want their time with their children "to be full of smiles and hugs," she said. "Being a whole human being means having strengths, but also realizing that others may be better tennis players or better clarinetists. When kids begin to really experience their own frailty, parents are often disappointed — `What did I do wrong? I praised you and praised you. I told you you were wonderful and you're falling apart.' "
>
> These experts do not advocate more criticism, and say genuine praise for noteworthy effort or accomplishment is good. But often, they say, it is better to give encouragement, offering descriptions or asking questions in a way that shows interest, yet allows children to judge themselves. Avoid praise that evaluates the child ("You're so smart") or injects the speaker ("I like the way you behaved").
>
> "What is helpful is when something they've actually done is recognized and acknowledged — and the particulars are mentioned," said Dr. Richard M. Ryan, a psychology professor at the University of Rochester. "Less good and even harmful is praise that feels to the child evaluative and controlling. If a parent says, `I love the way your room is so clean right now,' it has this feeling like `you're controlling me.' "
>
> In addition to anecdotal experience, a smattering of studies suggest that children praised for doing well at something were less interested in pursuing it, or did less well at subsequent tasks. One study found that when science teachers gave less praise, children spent more time figuring out experiments on their own. Dr. Joan Grusec, a University of Toronto psychology professor, found that children praised for making charitable donations were less likely to be generous than children told that they seemed to like helping others, a descriptive response.
>
> The shift toward less praise is related to the booming economy and tragedies like the Columbine massacre, said Sally Lee, editor in chief of Parents Magazine, which recently published an article on praise.
>
> "In the last two or three years, there's a sense of let's start raising kids who are not so individualistic," Ms. Lee said. "In a bad economy, everyone wants to raise this Horatio Alger. Now we want to raise kids who are good citizens who will help people."
>
> Ms. Lee said her own tendency to praise her daughter, 3, had become almost "a nervous tic: saying `good job' when she went down the slide, when she picked herself up from the playground. So when I said `good job' when she did something big like set the table by herself for the first time, I guess there wasn't much difference."
>
> Alfie Kohn, an author and a strong critic of routine praise, calls it a "verbal doggie biscuit," similar to tangible rewards, like stickers or gold stars, which he considers disrespectful, manipulative and only temporarily effective.
>
> Some psychologists and teachers disagree.
>
> Dr. Barry Lubetkin, director of the Institute for Behavior Therapy in Manhattan, believes that while some parents overpraise, "most parents don't praise enough. Praise is extremely important in building up a sense of children's own abilities. For psychologists to suggest that you should limit praise really undermines the idea of how we encourage children to feel good about themselves."
>
> Kim Hunt, a second-grade teacher in Des Moines, often praises children to convince others to behave, saying things like, "Oh, do I like the way Emily has already started solving those math problems. She's using her brain," Ms. Hunt said.
>
> "Praise is almost a contagious virus in a classroom because if you can catch one child doing something good and if you can verbally praise that child in front of his or her peers, it's going to spread like wildfire and the rest of the children are going to automatically do exactly what that model student is doing because they want the positive attention," she said.
>
> But proponents say substituting questions or descriptions for praise stimulates children to think, create and feel good about their own work.
>
> "This recurring, high-octane level of praise sometimes gets in the way" of learning, said Teresa Rosegrant, a preschool teacher in Arlington, Va. Saying something like "I see you're figuring out how to turn the pieces to put that puzzle together," she said, encourages and motivates a child, while "allowing them to feel happy about their own accomplishments."
>
> At Monroe Elementary School in this community about 30 miles southeast of Des Moines, some parents are impressed by Mrs. Doolittle's approach.
>
> Renae Tool routinely praised her son Jacob because "you want to tell them they did a good job on everything," she said. But when he started preschool two years ago, she noticed he "would hurry through art projects. As soon as a buddy of his was done, he would just sort of scribble through or just paste it down."
>
> What helped was that instead of praise, Mrs. Doolittle would say, "Jacob, is that your best work?" Mrs. Tool said.
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> "I really think after Jacob came here he had more self-confidence," said Mrs. Tool, who was so impressed she enrolled her daughter, Dani Sue, 5, and became a classroom aide.
>
> Mrs. Tool is also glad Mrs. Doolittle rejects the school's practice of giving children yellow slips for good behavior and blue for bad, and was uncomfortable this year when Jacob's first grade teacher gave him a yellow slip praising him for playing with a disabled boy.
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> Some parents, however, have not been pleased.
>
좋은글 잘읽었습니다.
그런데, 해석을 해주셔서 올려주신다면 저처럼 영어가 짧은 맘들도 많이 읽고 공부가 되리라 생각되네요.
염치없는 요구일런지요?
추운 날씨에 감기조심하시고 행복하세요..
> Last year, Mrs. Doolittle said, a mother said her son's behavior problems were caused by Mrs. Doolittle's not praising him enough. He ultimately left the class.
>
> And, Mrs. Doolittle said: "If we've had a really good day, I still resort to, probably more for the parents than the children, giving them a `we had a good day' badge. If you never bring home any positive things, the parents start to wonder."
>
| [일반][RE] 칭찬을 하는 방법 (뉴욕타임즈 기사에서...) |
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글쓴이 동우맘 등록일 2000-12-13 02:14 조회수 1,156 |
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