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µî·ÏÀÏ 2009-12-23 09:49

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http://www.suksuk.co.kr/momboard/BEC_001/45326

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°°ÀºÁÖÁ¦·Î Á÷Á¢ ½áº¸°Ô ÇϽô °Íµµ Writing ½Ç·ÂÀ» Up½ÃÅ°´Â ÁÁÀº ¹æ¹ýÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

 

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 Egypt is one of the most visited countries in the world because of its historical import!!ance. If you could choose to visit anywhere in the world to see ancient and historical structures where would you go? Explain your answer with examples.

 

[ÇлýÀÌ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ Essay ¿ø¹®ÀÌ¸ç »¡°£Ç¥½Ã´Â ¿ø¾î¹Î ¼±»ý´ÔÀÌ Ã·»è(¼öÁ¤)ÇÑ ºÎºÐÀÔ´Ï´Ù]

 I want to go 1. Italy. It is because my family 2. like to go 3. Italy, and there are many unusual 4. thing in 5. Italy's museum. I want to eat 6. Italy's spaghetti.
7. Korea's spaghetti tastes delicious, but I 8. didn't eat any 9. Italy's real foods. If I visit Italy, I 10. would speak 11. with other people, because I want to test my 12. english 13. speaking. In 14. academy, there is a 15. foreigner teacher, but he 16. says slowly. I heard that foreigners always 17. say very fast.
In 18. Korea's museums, there are many historical things, but in Italy, there are many 19. status, and paintings. I want to know more about Italy, and I hope to meet 20. with Italians. I 21. wish Italians are very 22. kind, and nice.

 

[¿ø¾î¹Î ¼±»ý´ÔÀÇ À¯Ç÷º° ÷»è³»¿ëÀÌ¸ç ¾î¶»°Ô ½á¾ß ´õ ¾Ë¸ÂÀº Ç¥ÇöÀÎÁö ¾Ë ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ´ë¸ñÀÔ´Ï´Ù]

Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/°ü»ç
14. academy : the academy
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/ÀüÄ¡»ç
1. Italy : to Italy
3. Italy : to Italy
11. with : to
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/Á¢¼Ó»ç
Grammar_Capitalization/´ë¼Ò¹®ÀÚ
12. english : English
Grammar_Conjugation/µ¿»çº¯È­È°¿ë
2. like : likes
8. didn't eat : haven't eaten
10. would : will
Grammar_Punctuation/ºÎÈ£»ç¿ë
22. kind, : kind
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/¹®ÀåÀÇ ±¸¼º
9. Italy's real foods : real Italian food
13. speaking : speaking skills
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/´Ü¾î»ç¿ë ÀûÀý¼º
4. thing : things
5. Italy's museum : Italian museums
6. Italy's : Italian
7. Korea's : Korean
15. foreigner : foreign
16. says : speaks
17. say : talk
18. Korea's : Korean
19. status, : statues
20. with : some
21. wish : hope

 

[ÇлýÀÌ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ÀÛ¹®¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¿ø¾î¹Î ¼±»ý´ÔÀÌ ¾Æ·¡¿Í °°ÀÌ ÄÚ¸àÆ®¸¦ ³²°Ü Áּ̳׿ä]

I appreciate your effort to write and share your dreams. I agree that Italy is a great and interesting country, and I also want to go there like you. I hope you can go to Italy in the near future, and I'm sure you will enjoy staying there. Anyway, I can say that you have good writing skills based on your article. There are just some parts which are not grammatically correct, and some of your words are not appropriate. For example, you should not say, "I want to go Italy"; you must say, "I want to go to Italy" to make it grammatically correct. Be careful with your nouns as well. You must write "Korean or Italian" than "Korea's or "Italy's" in some of your sentences. Just study the corrections and I hope that next time, you can make a more effective article. I'm sure you can do it, so good luck.


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