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Your city has decide to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person in your country. Who would you choose?
[ÇлýÀÛ¹®]
These days, many 1. city have their own bronze statue. In my city (Guri 2. city), we 3. have Kwang-Gae-Toe-King bronze statue. He 4. conquer China. When he 5. conquer other 6. country, our country 7. have the widest field 8. on our chronicle. 9. Then, if I 10. can build 11. new bronze statue, I want to 12. build Jang-Su-King. 13. Because, He also 14. widen our territory. Kwang-Gae-Toe-King conquered 15. China. But, Jang-Su-King conquered 16. south of 17. Han-river. 18. So, Kokuryew 19. could have filed which we could harvest granary.
He was 20. Kwang-Gae-Toe-Kings son. He lived 21. 91 years. He 22. symbol long life.
If we 23. build Jang-Su-King bronze statue, 24. Its symbol 25. is richness, long life, and 26. hero. 27. So I want to build it.
[÷»è³»¿ë]
Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/°ü»ç 3. have : have a 11. new : a new 16. south : the south 23. build : build a | ||
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/ÀüÄ¡»ç 8. on : in 21. 91 : for 91 | ||
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/Á¢¼Ó»ç 9. Then : However | ||
Grammar_Capitalization/´ë¼Ò¹®ÀÚ 2. city : City 24. Its : its | ||
Grammar_Conjugation/µ¿»çº¯ÈÈ°¿ë 4. conquer : conquered 5. conquer : conquered 7. have : had 10. can : could 14. widen : widened 25. is : will be | ||
Grammar_Punctuation/ºÎÈ£»ç¿ë 20. Kwang-Gae-Toe-Kings : Kwang-Gae-Toe-King's 27. So : So, | ||
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/¹®ÀåÀÇ ±¸¼º 12. build : build one for 13. Because, He : He 15. China. But, : China, but 17. Han-river : Han River 18. So, Kokuryew : Kokuryew 19. could have filed which we could harvest : would be satisfied when harvest something for our | ||
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/´Ü¾î»ç¿ë ÀûÀý¼º 1. city : cities 6. country : countries 22. symbol : symbolizes 26. hero : heroism |
[°»ç Comments]
The article was able to give a brief but sufficient discussion. It could have talked further about Su King's life to support the idea of having a monument built for him.
The sentences you wrote were clear enough to understand. One line was not very clear, however: So, Kokuryew could have filed which we could harvest granary. Kindly work on this sentence's structure. Be careful with your verb tenses also, especially when you have to talk about both the past and present in your article. Remember to use past tense verbs to describe finished action and the present tense for general statements. Please review the different 'conditionals' as a supplement.
I hope you will find the notes useful. Keep on writing, Kong Hoon. Have a good day!
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