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[작문제목]
Let's talk about " School Trip"
[학생작문]
Today's topic is 1. Let's talk about "School Trip". This topic
2. sympthy me too, because I go to 3. the school 4. trip too.
I think 5. about word school trip is 6. very *****, because 7. we go to 8. school trip
9. and we 10. played 11. group. 12. You went to 13. the school trip?
The first paragraph 14. explain 15. the "Why go to 16. the school 17. trip?"
I think 18. about this question confrontation friends are for unity.
19. This part of time "campfire" 20. this is a sad time and feel relieved.
21. The time activity is thiking the parents and 22. every friends, 23. we 24. talk to
parents 25. "thank you mom and dad" This time 26. cry more than
one of three 27. people, but I 28. am not cry.
The second paragraph 29. explain 30. the "What are you doing in there?"
31. I think about this question confrontation we will playing but teachers
are very angry and we are 32. startled. 33. But these are fun too.
34. We go to the there only no *****, we struggle to direction. We go to
the there and we are trained. Therefore, we 35. went to the 36. after school
trip, and good student. 37. Final, teachers talk to our "very good"
The third paragraph 38. explaine the stuff 39. for will go to the school trip.
I 40. think about 41. stuff... Um... very many I talk to now start! 42. These are
snacks, 43. camera, MP3, cell phone, bag, medicine, money and 44. wash bag.
The wash bag 45. have shampo, toothbrush, soap, 46. conditional and toothpaste. And we enjoy this time! 47. recreation! 48. A part of recreation is
49. dance, sing a song, performance, comedy and magic show. This time 50. very
51. interesting, because 52. friends show special 53. skill.
The fourth paragraph 54. explain 55. the "What are you doind at night?"
56. I think about this question confrontation playing game and the others.
I do not remember 57. the fifth grade school trip memory. I think 58. this
answer watch TV, true game, take a shower, falk game and purlterant
a group. I think 59. these games 60. very ***** and 61. interesting. Specially,
true game!
My school 62. go to 63. the school trip soon. We 64. go to 65. the school trip in
Kang-jou. I want to 66. the happy school trip! For heaven's
[첨삭내용]
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 3. the : a 8. school : a school 13. the : a 16. the : a 43. camera, MP3, cell phone, bag : a camera, an MP3, a cell phone, a bag 44. wash : a wash 48. A part : Part 59. these : the 63. the : a 65. the : a | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 7. we : when we | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 23. we : We | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 10. played : play 12. You went : Have you gone 14. explain : will explain 29. explain : will explain 35. went : go 38. explaine : will explain 40. think : could think 54. explain : will explain 62. go : will go 64. go : will go | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 17. trip?" : trip. 51. interesting, : interesting | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 1. Let's talk about "School Trip". : "School Trip." 2. sympthy me too, : interests me 4. trip too : trip 9. and we : we 11. group : as a group 15. the "Why : why we 18. about this question confrontation friends are for : this event brings 19. This part of time : There is a point during 20. this is a sad time and feel : where we feel sad and 21. The time activity is thiking the : This is the time when we think of our 22. every friends, : friends. 25. "thank you mom and dad" : "Thank you." 26. cry more than one : one out 27. people : people cry 30. the "What are you doing in there?" : what we do in the trip. 31. I think about this question confrontation we will playing but teachers are very angry : We play a lot but teachers get very angry 32. startled : startled by that 33. But these are fun too : We have so much fun 34. We go to the there only no *****, we struggle to direction. We go to the there and : However, when we go there, 36. after school trip, and : trip and be a 37. Final, teachers talk to our "very good" : Teachers tell us we are very good. 41. stuff... Um... very many I talk to now : a lot of stuff. I don't know where to 47. recreation : It's recreation 49. dance, sing a song, performance, comedy and magic show : dancing, singing a song, performing a comedy skit, and doing a magic show 50. very : is very 52. friends : our friends 55. the "What are you doind at night?" : what we do at night. 56. I think about this question confrontation playing game and the others : I remember playing games among other things 57. the fifth grade school trip memory : much about the fifth grade school trip 58. this answer watch TV, true game, take a shower, falk game and purlteranta group : we watched TV, played true game, took a shower, talked, and formed groups 60. very : were very 61. interesting. Specially, : interesting, especially 66. the happy school trip! For heaven's : have a lot of fun in our next school trip! | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 5. about word : going to a 6. very *****, : so much fun 24. talk to : tell our 28. am : do 39. for will go to : we bring during 42. These are : I usually bring 45. have : has my 46. conditional : conditioner, Note: Add a comma. 53. skill : skills |
[강사 Comments]
The topic was discussed at a very good length. You were able to express yourself well and touch on the different points of a school trip. Kindly organize the sentences in paragraphs as this is the standard format and will help make the ideas in the article easier to follow. Take note of your verbs and word choices, too. Fun, for example describes something that you find enjoyable while ***** describes something that makes you laugh. We say: It is fun to talk to my friends. My friends tell ***** stories.
Keep on writing, Cindy. I hope you will find the future topics as engaging as this one. Have a good day!
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