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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초!! 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
같은주제로 내 아이에게 직접 써보게 하시는 것도 Writing 실력을 Up시키는 좋은 방법입니다
[작문제목]
Describe your house or apartment. Then list the ways in which you would improve it with all of your family members in mind.
[학생작문]
My home has 8 1. rooms .It 2. have 3. livingroom , 4. kitchen , 5. bedroom , two 6. bathrooms , veranda, 7. me and my sister's 8. room , and 9. storehouse 10. but it is 11.pianoroom 12. now .
My 13. house' 14. livingroom has 15. televison and sofa .
The kitchen has a 16. refrigerator , stove , oven , and a 17. dishwasher . The bedroom has a 18. little TV, two beds , and a 19. drawer .Bathrooms just have toilets and 20. bathtub .
The veranda has many 21. orchides , and they 22. looks 23. beautiful .
24. Me and my sister's room has two 25. desks to study and bookcases 26. ( It is filled with 27. comicbooks ) .
28. Finally the 29. pianoroom has a piano and many bookcases 30. that is filled with 31. books .
[첨삭내용]
| Spelling/철자 14. livingroom : living room 21. orchides , : orchids 27. comicbooks ) . : comic books. 29. pianoroom : piano room | ||
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 4. kitchen , : a kitchen, 15. televison : a television 20. bathtub . : a bath tub. | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 2. have : has 22. looks : look | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 1. rooms . : rooms. 8. room , : room, 12. now . : now. 16. refrigerator , stove , oven , : refrigerator, stove, oven, 17. dishwasher . : dishwasher. 19. drawer . : drawer. 23. beautiful . : beautiful. 28. Finally : Finally, 31. books . : books. | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 3. livingroom , : a living room, 5. bedroom , : a master's bedroom, 6. bathrooms , : bathrooms, a 9. storehouse : a storage room 10. but it is : which is 11.pianoroom : the piano room 25. desks to study : study desks 30. that is filled : filled | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 7. me : my room 13. house' : house's 18. little : small 24. Me : I 26. ( It : which |
[강사 Comments]
Hello there! You did quite well content-wise. I think that your deions are clear and concise. You have described in detail what your house lookslike, the rooms it has, and the things that can be seen there. However, you missed some more important details that the topic specifically asks. These are the ways you can improve your house or any rooms in it according to what each family member prefers. For example, you would have the storage room converted into a piano room because both you and your sister play the piano very well and are musically inclined. This is just an example that you can follow. Then just develop your introduction and your conclusion. I'd like to commend your sentences because they have the correct structure and are properly worded. Remember though that you should not put a space before punctuation mark but after it. Good luck next time.
Kate 
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참 훌륭한 첨삭지도로군요......
근데... 저기..............
이렇게 온데가 붉은 자국 투성이인 첨삭지도 받고 나도..... 아이가 다시 글을 쓰고 싶어할까요??
-_-;;